He Means It

“Please just step away! He means it!” It was my plea for his own safety.

Let me explain. Years ago, we had this dog that we still talk about. Brock. Brock was an 85lb boxer that was nothing but muscle and strength. He was a card carrying boxer dog, but he was the biggest and meanest boxer I’ve ever seen. He had problems. I’m serious. Real problems. From the day we got him, he was family. We loved Brock. And he was perfect. The most loving, caring, sweet, obedient, behaved dog ever …TO US. To everyone else, he thought you were there to kill his family, and he was going to defend his pack. Then something happened, his pack grew. We had Madison. And Brock got WORSE. I’ve never seen anything like it. Brock adored that little girl. From an infant, we made him keep his distance. He would stand guard and never ever take his eyes off her. And then she grew and discovered “Bock.” Madison loved her Bock. He would let her do anything…and she did. We have the cutest pictures of her resting on him drinking her sippy cup, playing vet and checking his heartbeat, and bossing that huge dog around… And he obeyed. But when we added Madison to our pack, he grew ever more protective. I really did worry that he would hurt someone. He especially hated men. And on this day, I was standing in our front yard with Brock on a leash as our neighbor was walking into our yard. It was all I could do to hold Brock back. The neighbor tried to look unworried, “It’s ok. I’m a dog person.”

“He doesn’t care. He will hurt you. Please leave.”

I am married to Brock. Well, of course I’m not…but my husband and he share one characteristic: DO NOT MESS WITH HIS GIRLS! …and he is not bluffing.

James is the kindest, most easy going man …until it comes to his girls. I have a grown nephew that told me in all seriousness, “Whenever I see James and Madison interact, I pray for those poor boys in the future that fall in love with her!” Yes…He will put the fear of God in many a young man!

It began the day she was born, after a couple of hours of adoring our new addition, the nurse came to take Madison to give her a bath. James followed. “Sir, You can’t come back here.”

“That’s my baby. Yes I can.” And he did.

I have written about my condition of Addison’s Disease. It is a condition that goes from bad to worse in crisis situations but as I lay limp on the ER bed, I never worry at all because I have James at my side, as understanding of the rare condition as the specialist and making sure I am properly attended to. His firm hand has literally saved my life in several cases that could be labeled medical negligence.

James used to embarrass the hell out of me. He is a man that knows his business and then follows through. I don’t think he has ever caved into peer pressure in his entire life.

But I know one thing, the world needs more of him! Men that stand strong for what they believe in. Men that protect their families. I have seen the stripping down of the masculinity of men in our culture and I am so proud to say that I’ve won the heart of one of the few that’s left. So, when he says he is going to protect his family, he means it. And when I say I love my man, this woman can mean it as well.

 

I AM PUBLISHED!  Please click on the link below for more information and to purchase

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Did I forget What He Has Done?

Complete and absolute pain and agony. Darkness, the dirt pressed in all around I had not seen the sun, ever, there was no knowledge of its existence. My grave weighed heavily upon my chest, lying in torment and eternity. Each breath a choke, my lungs full of thick mucous. I choked, no air reached my lungs, panic of my last breath. There was no relief, no gasp of air, only a repeat of that moment over and over. I sought no relief, my body did not know to use itself as a tool, as an aid to help the other. My arms did not shift to brush away the dirt from my face, my feet did not kick upon the ground, for they each had their own torture. My hands lay upon heat, fingertips touching a hot stove just before they are pulled away, never burning to the relief of shock, never knowing the refuge of death. They burned and burned, but my mouth did not cry out. My lips pressed shut keeping out the maggots, always crawling and wriggling just inside my lips. Feet, the opposing opposite, frozen in frost bite but never accomplishing numbness, shaking, trembling, convulsing my whole body. And the worst of it all, my mind. While I was aware of each extreme pain, there was never peace to be found, my mind was falling, the jolt right before reaching the ground, in a constant tumble off a cliff, a peak. Forever falling, always aware of near impact, but never reaching the bottom. It always had been, there was no time. No past, no present, and no future. I was damned.

Maidservants attended to my hair, curled, and washed, and perfumed. Lips naturally shone the brightest red and only elaborated with a shiny gloss. Singing chest, my powerful lungs sang as I was attended to. Clothed in the finest linens and always setting the newest trend. I broke free of my attendees and danced and giggled. My hands were soft and lotioned. My feet, freshly soaked and rubbed. Entire body trained, nurtured, and pampered. Smiling through my bright teeth and large eyes, I took in my surroundings. The ballroom filled with people, rich and lavishly dressed. I admired them but they more admired me. Banquet tables covered with the fattened calf and exotic fruits. Music filled the room. And the best of it all, my mind. I loved and I laughed. There was nothing but peace and joy and happiness. Jubilation, the celebrations continued. Spinning and swirling and praise and applause. Laughter and jokes and drinks. Merriment to the fullest. Dancing and smiles and a room full of celebrating perfection.

Deafening silence split the room. Her soiled rags loosely hung from her body. Matted, stringy hair sparsely covered her head. Walking with a limp, each eye followed her, every eye stared. Frail, skinny frame, bruised and scratched and beaten. Age could not be determined, but not the cause of her frailness. Almost falling with each step, sliding her foot one step more.

Looking down from all my riches and for the first time pondering a thought, “Who was this girl?” For I knew the answer from the start, that wretch was me.

I AM PUBLISHED!  Please click on the link below for more information and to purchase

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Coming From a White Girl

It sounds so cliche to say, but I honestly do not see color as an issue at all in my life, so I feel very silly to write on it at all.  And then I realize, “Thank God it is not an issue!”  I am thankful to be on this end of Martin Luther King’s dream. This world is not perfect but I believe we are living what he dreamed about in many ways.

However, he still inspires me with this quote. When we chose comfort, popularity, money, the list goes on, when we chose to be silent when we should speak up, we, as a person and as a nation, begin to die.  Yes!  There are so many fights that we have grown tired of fighting but the causalities are still being added daily.  MLK was a strong fighter of abortion.  It is that fight that everyone says, “No, don’t bring that up again.”  But I do believe that MLK would be on the front line defending the helpless one more time.

Today, on this holiday,  I am thankful for good change and freedoms that are now enjoyed by those that once did not have them.  And today I still dream of a better tomorrow.

Evolution Screws the Helpless

I have learned that this is a very emotional topic.  Honestly, I am not really sure why, but if I ever talk about this (which is not that often), I get people really upset.  So, I apologize…I don’t apologize….don’t want to make you mad, but here it is:

“To suppose that the eye with all its intimate contrivances for adjusting the forces to different differences, for admitting different amounts of light, and for the correction of spherical and chromatic aberration, could have been formed by natural selection, seems, I freely confess, absurd in the highest degree.”

Guess who said that?  Yep, the big man himself!  CHARLES ROBERT DARWIN!!!  There is some food for thought, the man who proposed the theory of evolution denied it himself.

From a scientific standpoint, let’s look at the theory of evolution.  Years ago, I attended a lecture under Ken Hamm.  He is a genius of a man and definitely a great man of thinkers of the modern world. He completely demolished the possibility of evolution in one fatal two minute blow describing the impossibility of a giraffe evolving.  It would have died several times during that process.  But he continued and by the end of it, any evolutionist would be crawling under the table.  I can not recommend enough the resources found at answersingenesis.org

From a Biblical standpoint, there are those that believe that God created the world through evolution.  There are several problems with that but to state one:  Adam named all the animals before Eve was created.  So, this theory suggests that evolution occurred to lead up to Adam and Eve and that evolution occurred before the fall.  So, this theory states that death occurred before the fall, which is not biblical because death was a part of the curse and did not exist before it.

And now, for the title:  From an emotional standpoint, Evolution screws the helpless.  According to evolution, it is survival of the fittest.  According to evolution, this is what we’ve got, right now.  So, if you are dying a painful death, if you are a starving child, if you are living each day in agony, the remedy is to end it all.  There is no reason to keep going.  There is no hope.  There is no value for human life.  If you are born with a deformity, you are a mistake, the world will be better when you are gone.

Do I leave you with no hope?  NO!  Because I do not believe in evolution.  (Bet you couldn’t have guessed that.) And why do I write a post on evolution when I know some people are really pissed at me by this point?  Because I want to tell those that do not know that there is hope!  I have a reason to convince you!  I want to tell you that you mean something!  Sorry, but why would anyone try to convince me that evolution is real?!!!  The proof of burden falls on the evolutionist.  The God of the universe made you in his image!  You have worth!  He heals those with disease and injury and hurt!  You have a purpose!  If you are suffering, there is hope!  There is a reason to struggle and survive!  Because you are precious to the God that made it all!

Caroline is published!  please click on the link below for more information about Beautiful Life with Cancer, Hope During the Hard Times and to purchase

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Proving Jesus

I have a little girl.  There is evidence of her everywhere.  I have scientific evidence, I have a journal that I have kept about her life, there are so many other people that have seen her and know her, the list goes on and on.  But this is not how I prove her.  If I meet someone in the grocery store and tell a story about my daughter, no one asks me to prove her existence scientifically.  I know she exists because I KNOW HER.  I have walked with her and talked with her and served her and I LOVE HER!  I know she exists because I LOVE HER!  I can tell you stories of the funny things she has said, I can tell you about eating popcorn with her, I can tell you about how she brought me coffee in bed when I was sick, I can tell you about the things she has made for me.  People connect emotionally, when I tell someone about my love for my husband, my  daughter, my sister, my dog ….  they connect, because they also have loved.

I know Jesus is real.  There is scientific evidence.  There are journals of eyewitnesses.  Other people saw him.  However, I know that he is real because I have a relationship with him.  I know he exists because I KNOW HIM!  I have walked with him, I have talked with him, I have served him, and I LOVE HIM!  I know he exists because I LOVE HIM!  I can tell you stories of how he has provided for me in the last minute, the things he has made for me, the memories I have of him, the times he has been the only one there for me.  There is evidence of him everywhere.  The list goes on and on, but topping the chart is emotional evidence.  I have a relationship with him.  I don’t have to prove Jesus exists (which can be done) because I KNOW HIM!

Caroline is published!  please click on the link below for more information about Beautiful Life with Cancer, Hope During the Hard Times and to purchase

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Do Not Worry About What to Say

Ehhhh. Uncomfortable. That pounding in my heart. I was the new kid in the program. I didn’t want to make a scene. I don’t like to be the center of attention, especially in a classroom of 100 people that I don’t know, directed toward a professor I’ve never had a conversation with.

Unable to spend two years eleven hours apart from the man I knew I wanted to marry, I moved from Bristol, TN to Fort Pierce, FL and transferred colleges from the tiny private Christian college of King College to the gigantic public university of Florida Atlantic University in order to make the second best decision of my life (only beat by my decision to follow Jesus) …the second best decision of my life, to marry James D. Hendry. So, in the name of love, I transferred from King to F.A.U. Great schools. Both of them.

But now, here I sat, in the back of the room, beside a couple of girls I hoped to make friends with, and hearing my new professor start class by opening with a joke criticizing the Bible.

“So, let me tell you all about my crazy weekend experience, I am a bridesmaid in my friend’s wedding. At the rehearsal, her dad asks me if I will read this verse. No. Didn’t really want to read from the Bible, but I look at the book and read the highlighted verse. It is about wives SUBMITTING to their husbands!!! Can you believe that shit?!” She shakes her head as the class laughs and oohs in amazement and they all continue to bash with remarks of women’s rights and man bashing. (In a predominately female classroom and major of education.)

(I was not as bold about speaking up in my college days, but I couldn’t just sit there.)

I raise my hand, and then something happened, I had no clue what I was going to say, but then she called on me and out came the words, “actually, I had that same verse read at my wedding.” Gasps of shock. “….but it was followed by a verse about the husband being commanded to love his wife as Christ loved the church. And Christ died for Christians. So, the husband is not getting off the hook either.”

“Do not worry about what to say or how to say it. At the time you will be given what to say, for it will not be you speaking, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you.” -the words of Jesus spoken in Matthew 10:19-20

I live in fear, so many Christians live in fear of “knowing what to say.” Don’t. Let God talk.

 

Caroline is published!  please click on the link below for more information about Beautiful Life with Cancer, Hope During the Hard Times and to purchase

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Worrying About Worry

Regrets. I’ve got them. I believe having regrets is actually healthy. It is the first step in growing. They hurt, I don’t like them, but the important thing is to learn from them and move on. When I am in that moment of, “Caroline, you’ve really screwed up now.” I try to change my perspective from “This day sucks” to “I am going to come out of this all the stronger.”

Looking back on my life, I am several different people. Really. I have learned so much I hardly recognize that girl from the past. I wish I could do that thing that has been dreamed of by many many a person: I wish I could go back and give myself some advice. Hmmmm. If I could tell younger Caroline, let’s say teenage Caroline, one thing what would it be? This: DO NOT WORRY! It all turns out great in the end!

I love word studies. Nerdy fact about Caroline. I have a favorite dictionary. Webster’s 1828. Getting really dorky chills just thinking about it. So much knowledge and wisdom in that big thick book. Yes, wisdom. Well, in this age, I have turned to the more modern version of 1828 and I was doing a word study.

Worry. What does that word mean? “To fatigue”. YES! It wears me out! “To tear, to mangle with the teeth.” Yikes! There is a word picture! Nothing good ever comes from worrying! I have never ever looked back and said, “I am so glad that I worried about that! Whew! That worrying really helped me out!”

“Teenage Caroline, You will marry your best friend (and he is super hot!), and you have a daughter, and you will beat cancer! (Girl, you kick ass!), and you will buy a house, and yes! You will drive one day! STOP WORRYING! Get ready! It all works out better than you could have ever dreamed!”

So, if that is what I would say to teenage Caroline, what would 60 year old Caroline say to 33 year old Caroline? STOP WORRYING!!!

Caroline is published!  please click on the link below for more information about Beautiful Life with Cancer, Hope During the Hard Times and to purchase

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A Little Pinch… a Half a Cup of Salt on my Lunch

“You have cancer in your adrenal glands.”  I did not even know where my adrenal glands where or what in the heck they were good for.  11 years ago, I had my adrenal glands removed, instantly leaving me with Addison’s Disease.

Doesn’t leave me with much to brag about.  Just a medical alert bracelet, a lot of replacement meds, and salt cravings.  With all of the modern world limiting their salt intake, I can’t get enough.  Salt is good for something, after all, other than flavor.  Many many health benefits to salt and many reasons it is something that we can’t do without.  Especially on hot summer days, I have to be sure to add extra salt to my diet.  Funny, huh?  Because, like I said, there are also negative side effects to having to much salt and that is where most of the modern world lives:  on limiting salt.

You ought to see me out to lunch shaking, shaking, shaking, and shaking some more salt on my sandwich.  I get stares.  I get a few comments, “Sweetheart, You shouldn’t add that much salt to your food.”  ….well, actually, yeah.  I should.

But it makes me think, “You are the salt of the earth.”  Hmmm….am I?  Am I beneficial to the lives of others?  Am I adding enjoyment to their lives?

Food is such an emotional experience.  A healthy, pleasing to the eye, plate of my favorite foods served at just the right time brings me so much happiness.  Planning a party?  What will we eat?  Company coming over?  What food will I serve?  People study food to improve their cooking skills, search out the best restaurants, earn a living from farming…..how food impacts our lives can write a whole library of books.  And salt makes food better.

Do I do that?  Do I make the lives of others better?  ….Just thinking out loud

Caroline is published!  Please click on the link below for more information or Beautiful Life with Cancer, Hope During the Hard Times can be found on Amazon.  (Kindle edition available)

https://www.createspace.com/5108444

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Clocking Time

I am a writer, a lover, a Friday night dater, a snuggling in front of the fire perfect momenter.  I love those sacred moments in life where my heart and soul go “ahhh” and life is complete and has so much meaning.  I love those moments when I feel inspired and my fingers tingle and my heart sings and my face can’t hold in the smile.  Holidays are the best and opening presents and a home full of yummy groceries.  I cherish Saturday mornings when I’ve woken up first and the house is clean and breakfast is cooking and I am sitting reading a book.  Starting off on the first day of a family vacation, getting a new puppy, that surprise shopping money in the mail, and date night kisses.

But sometimes it is Monday and it is cold and raining and I am driving home to clean a dirty house.  Sometimes I have a doctor appointment.  Quite often I have hurt someone’s feelings or said something mean or started a fight.  I don’t like to sit in that moment of things not being right.  Every now and then I burn dinner, don’t get everything checked off my “to do” list, or get irritated with my husband.  Sometimes I am stuck in traffic and I am running late.  I’ve gained weight, scratched my new shoes, gone over budget, or forgot to pack Madison’s water bottle for school.

Sometimes I am just clocking time.  And when I find myself where I don’t want to be.  I remind myself that I am so thankful to have just that:  this time that I’ve got.  So, I take a deep breath, I apologize, I drive in the rain, I start another load of laundry.  I serve.  I do something for someone else.  I do something to remind myself that it is not all about me and parties and always getting what I want.  I make a list and I clean my house.  I think about the spring time.  I turn on worship music.  I read a verse.  Because if I just show up to work, I’m getting paid by the hour.

Caroline Hendry is published!  Please click on the link below for more information or you can find Beautiful Life with Cancer, Hope During the Hard Times and Spiritual Flesh and Blood on Amazon (Kindle edition available)

https://www.createspace.com/5108444

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What If I Was a Writer?

What if I fell in love? If he was hot and melted my heart and he asked me on a date. What if I discovered he noticed me, what if he liked me, and called me back? What if that guy was kind, and laughed when he watched funny movies when he was the only one in the room, if he rubbed my shoulders when he watched car shows, and if he offered to take me shopping? What if we got married? What if LOVE was REAL?

What if I had a baby? I would love that little stinker just for being born! What if I had a daughter? What if her first word was “Momma?” What if she loved school, and loved every single animal in the whole world, and collected more stuffys than I ever wanted in my house? What if we got to play board games together? What if I could wait in carline and pick her up from school? What if a beautiful little girl called me “MOMMY”?

What if I was a writer? What if I was brave enough to share? What if I met thousands and thousands of friends over the blogosphere? What if the number kept growing? What if I published a book? What if I got to sit in my living room, beside a fire, petting my doggy, drinking coffee, and writing on my new iPad? What if I called myself a poet? What if people LIKED what I wrote?

Well, THAT would be REALLY COOL!

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I AM PULBISHED!  please click on the link below for more information or you can find my two books, Spiritual Flesh and Blood and Beautiful Life with Cancer, Hope During the Hard Times on Amazon (Kindle edition available)

https://www.createspace.com/5108444

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