“And Then I Knew He Was Mine”

The heat and humidity of the Georgia July summer welcomed the fourth daughter into a family of what would eventually consist of eight children.  I followed and imitated a God that was preached in my church and home. Life was life and I never questioned it.  My little heart dreamed a dream of my own life and my own plans that I longed for day by day.

My fairy godmother waved her wand and I was Cinderella at the ball dancing with my prince.  James looked into my eyes and I was loved like I never thought possible for a maid covered in cinders.  But then I heard the clock strike midnight and I ran.  I ran from a God that gave me cancer.  I ran from a God that did not promise health to my miracle baby.  I ran from a God that could take everything from me with the stroke of the clock and no one would ever know who I was.

But in the reality of my sickness, in the reality of my sin, in the reality of my weakness, my God took me by the hand and beckoned me to a world far beyond my wildest dreams.  AND THEN I KNEW HE WAS MINE.  He was my God.  He did not belong to the church.  He does not belong to a debate or a book.  He is not yet to be proved or determined.  He is mine.

This miracle baby lives in my home.  Her heart should not beat and her mind should not wonder and question.  But she is bigger than life.  She is bigger than the laws and rules that govern this world, she is a miracle.  She cries over the death of her pet caterpillars, she memorizes the poetry of Robert Lewis Stevenson, invites friends to church, carries stuffies to school, and loves to learn.  My girl is a writer, her mind is thrilled with creations.  She finds me writing and in the midst of a story.  “I know how it will end,” she smiles.  My eyes wait for the response.  She spreads her hands in dramatization, “AND THEN I KNEW HE WAS MINE.”

My God tugs at Madison’s heart.  “My daughter, oh you just wait and see.  There is a big world I have created for you.  Sing, explore, learn, play, and serve.  But wait, oh you just wait, I am getting a big surprise ready for you.  My baby, my love, I AM YOURS.”

15 thoughts on ““And Then I Knew He Was Mine”

  1. Beautifully written sweet Caroline. Even though you have been through so much in your young life, you make the most of each & everyday. WE are blessed to have you in our lives. Love you so much sweet daughter n law.

    Liked by 1 person

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