My Cancer Survival Kit

Jesus. When I open my survival kit, there is one item:  Jesus. He completely fills and overflows my medical emergency survival kit. 

I was a teenage college student when I first began this book, literally when I began writing this book.  But its contents were real, they were raw, and it was relevant. It was relevant to a world that hurt and that needed my story. 

As a typical young college student, I was battling the discovery of who I was, who I wanted to be, and what was safe to share. Cancer. It was my little secret to keep hidden at all costs. Who could possibly understand that?  I sure didn’t!  

My release was found in writing. The story of a struggling young girl was scribbled through the pages of my Cancer journal. I, appropriately, titled it My Survival Kit. 

I shared my fears of others discovering my disease, my love of Jesus for bringing me to college, my uncertainty of the future, even my ignorance of what lived inside my body. 

Those pages were destroyed, burned for fear of being discovered. Dashed upon the rocks by an ignorant professor. I revealed to him my little secret that I was writing a book. That was all I had told him, it was the first time I had trusted anyone with that tiniest bit of information. 

His smirking ignorant comment sent my writing up in flames, “Write about something people will want to read. You can not write about yourself.”

I am a nineteen year survivor of a rare form of MEN2A Cancer. I am a rare condition within a rare condition. The specialists at Duke University Hospital study my case and the interns rub their hands together and giggle in excitement when they meet their living textbook, sitting in the doctor’s office with my family by my side. 

It took years and years and more years for me to begin to grasp that my weakness made me strong. Just now can I thank God that I am able to comfort someone terrified of their medical future because, I too, have been told those dreaded words:  Cancer. 

Only now, can I see that CANCER IS IRRELEVANT!  I am Caroline. I am a wife. A mom. A child of the King.

Wait. It is not just a comfort for the sick. It is a truth for the husband that walked out on his family, the highschool girl that longs for attention, the orphan baby with no mommy to make her dinner and no daddy to protect her, a real comfort to those that have screwed up big time and need the ultimate forgiveness, love for the unlovable, healing for the sick, LIFE FOR THE DEAD, we are loved by the King of all Kings. What else matters?!

Jesus knows my body inside and out. He knows my body needs extra salt and that I need to drink more water. He knows I love reading CS Lewis while drinking black coffee, that I love hitting the town and drinking a draft beer with my dreamy husband, it is no surprise to Jesus that I dream of a swimming pool in my backyard. He wants me to have all that!  BUT HE WANTS MORE!

More than being comfortable and enjoying a book, he wants me to serve. More than being healthy, he wants me to depend fully in him. More than a pool in my backyard, he wants me patient. And more than this life, he wants me for eternity. 

ETERNITY!  Cancer is irrelevant. 


29 thoughts on “My Cancer Survival Kit

  1. I was 47 when I was diagnosed with MS and a brain aneurysm – on Friday the 13th. At first I was numb, then scared, facing brain surgery and an uncertain future. I was 48 when I found God, and my Savior, Jesus Christ. Today, I live with my illness without even thinking about it much. I am on my path towards eternal life, and nothing is going to cause me to veer off that path, for God holds me in the palm of His hand.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Honestly. Some teachers are enough to put you off education altogether. So glad you kept going. You know yourself and what you have to give, which puts you in a priveleged minority. Many of us never work that out. Keep going. Bless you. Psalm 16 especially v 5 & 6.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Enjoyed your post caroline. I told a friend alittle while ago I was writing a book. Her look of ridicule and laughter I did find disconcerting, but she doesnt really know me. She is my neighbour.
    I love jesus. My life was shipwrecked when I met him. Or ahouod i say when he fished me out of the water. My greatest gift is writing and I love it.
    I think our suffering and diseases are our greatest gifts. Mine is depression. It drives me straight into the arms of my god.

    You sound a really lovely lady Caroline with a lovely family too. Love and best wishes, barbara

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Barbara! Keep writing, please keep writing. I have several friends that battle depression and Jesus Christ is the great healer, comforter, and true source of joy! Hugs sweet friend!


  4. So well written. Such a powerful story … a powerful story still being written. God, glorified. I am always blessed when I read your blog. Thank you for being so unselfish, sharing your story … and sharing something so sacred as your relationship with the Father. The reality of Jesus … He sustains us continually. I’ll close with your words: “Only now, can I see that CANCER IS IRRELEVANT! I am Caroline. I am a wife. A mom. A child of the King.”

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Beautiful. Thanks for sharing this. I don’t have cancer, although I’ve lost many relatives to it. I am, at the moment, working through a chronic illness. It limits my activities but grows my faith and my heart. I want my own business, a house, and someone to share all of that and run the world with. But God wants me patient, he wants me reliant on Him, and he wants me to appreciate what I have now (which is plenty!). He wants me to find my strength in the spiritual, not the material. May He continue to keep you in his glory, and may all who are sick find healing, whether it be physical, spiritual, or both.


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