They Find Me

It is Autumn, but the weather promises the winter cold. Gray skies drizzle endlessly. All consuming to my bones, the weather mirrors my heart. 

There are things. There are things in my past. They are hidden in the “everyone makes mistakes” and “you are a good person” comforts where I seek to be consoled. 

I have betrayed, lied, hated, and turned my back on need. Perhaps it is just my humanity, but sometimes the rain pours and the bitter wind can not be shut out by all the coats and blankets in the world. 

I know. I do know the freedom of forgiveness. I have lived the peace that can be found. But I know deeply, perhaps more deeply than others, the reason for a Savior. 


20 thoughts on “They Find Me

  1. I know the message in which you write. However, from a writers perspective and not dealing with the theme of the message, I love how your opening sentence puts the reader in the room with you. “It is Autumn, but the weather promises the winter cold. Gray skies drizzle endlessly. All consuming to my bones, the weather mirrors my heart.” This particular post just seems to resonate with me.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I slept outside last night in the cold drizzling rain in a public gazebo downtown. It was fitful, miserable, uncomfortable and painful. But ya know what? I’m not disappointed, angry, sad, resentful, envious, discouraged, or anything of the sort. You know why? Because comfort is a SPIRIT that dwells as God on my inside! Spirit is what we ARE. That’s what Jesus came to teach us!

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  3. I’ve been reading your blog for quite some time, and have never commented until now: I can say that I’ve been in this boat so many times over, and I always tried to tell myself that I can’t help everyone as much as I’d like to. I suffered a 7 month mental health shut down because I tried to take care of everyone’s needs and ignored the fact that God was telling me to slow down and rest. It cost me much mental and emotional stability with a crippling depression and severe anxiety. I can understand how you feel, but sometimes we need to pick a specific focus, like serving meals at a shelter or helping street youth at a drop-in centre. It can be overwhelming to attempt to take on everything and feel like a “bad person” because of the one or two people that you had to force yourself to say “no” to. My prayers are with you Caroline, God bless, and keep on keeping on!

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    • I appreciate your comment so much, so very much! I am learning how to hear God speak and how to know his will. I find myself ever so lacking from what I want to be and sometimes disappoints can be so devastating. I have had one of these disappointments recently. As hard as it is, I am seeing Christ even here. I want to do and I want to be more! And I have found so much hope and encouragement in your words! THANK YOU!

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  4. I think we’ve all felt that we’re about the worst person in the world, and that we desperately need our Savior…and yet wonder if He’ll still accept all our faults and mistakes and worst decisions. Thank God He already knew what He was getting when He sent His son to the cross for all of us, and He doesn’t mind!

    The best news is that none of us are really the “worst person ever”…and all-powerful God can cover any transgression, soften any heart, produce any miracle!

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