Pause the Rushing Moment

Despite the fact that I want to soak up each and every second, the clock ticks on. “Enjoy these moments. She will grow up in the blink of an eye.”  I know!  I really do know because yesterday I held a tiny baby in my arms and now she is knocking on nine. And my coffee grows cold and I am not ready to move on. 

The morning was rushed with so many chores but they all got accomplished so I should count it a success. But I don’t. I don’t appreciate the rush. There is hard work to be done and I understand that, but could you keep the day from passing while I hurry about my chores?  I sat in the car and stared out the window. I am not one that can hold in my emotion. 

A bit surprised by my sadness at this joyous occasion, “What is the matter?”  He asked. 

“It is going by in fast forward!”  

And it did!  It was Thanksgiving Day yesterday and NOW IT IS NOT!

I sit in the morning. My mug of coffee is cold before I am ready for my morning alone to be over.  I want to sit in my jammies for hours without the day passing by, just pause the moment I am in. It is officially Christmas season, the best time of the year. These are the moments, the times that are memories, this is when I make who I am. And I want it to be good!  

But the company arrives and they are gone before I am ready. He is off work and returns before I am ready for him to go. She grows and she is one more step to grown and I want to snuggle just a bit longer. The Christmas song and the warm glow of the fire are a perfect moment that taunt me as they rush so quickly away. Cherishing the moment is not enough. I want to pause.  I want to have forever and eternity. 

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Momma’s Hot Date

Pull out the date night red lipstick, I have a hot date. It is the kind of date where I first drop the baby off at MiMi’s house. The kind of date where we already have a baby, and the baby is eight. 

I try my best to rush to meet him at home, but there is traffic. So, I sip my afternoon coffee. I’ll need one to stay up past “school night bedtime.”  I flip through the radio station, but I can’t find the LOVE songs!  

I hear songs about meeting for the first time, plenty rockin’ one night stands, and a having sex to say goodbye song (are we for real?!) I’m a girl, a sappy  girl headed on a date with my man, where are the love songs?

I want to hear a song about someone that has known each other more than a first hot glance, hey, what about someone that is…let’s say it, already married?  I want to hear about love, real love, love that has made it through the hard times, love that actually knows their date’s middle name and has met their momma. 

Surely we are not the only ones that have gone on more than a first date. Surely there could be a love song about more than a one night stand on the radio. 

Coming from someone that has been married for thirteen years, and plans to make it a whole lot more, LOVE IS MUCH MORE ROMANTIC THAN LUST!

The honeymoon isn’t over after having a baby. It grows. 

Love doesn’t leave. It stays. Love forgives. 

Love is like wine. It gets better with age. 

Real gentlemen do still exist and true love can be found. 

Singers, sing a song about my man working hard for a living for his family.  

Writers, write about that sexy man rocking his baby to sleep in the middle of the night. The man that loves that baby’s Momma, even when she has no makup on. And would chose her any day over the newer model. 

I wanna hear the song about:

Even now, I still chose you. Even that, can’t make me leave. Even he, has nothing to offer over you. ‘Cause you’re my man. Always have been, even before I met you. Always will be. ‘Cause God himself made us for each other. No one else shares these memories. No one else has been with me through that. No one else could ever be her Daddy. So, you may have seen these heels before and maybe this restaurant isn’t new. And we might have a hard week behind us.  

But you are my man, and tonight you are my date. And tomorrow, you will still be my man. And we are living a real love song. 

I Went to Church at Sea World

The blazing heat could not keep the crowd away.  People from every life story packed in to the non airconditioned amphitheater waiting for the show to begin. 

And the show did not disappoint!  Life paused and proceeded in slow motion as I observed the tricks that Shamu had been taught. She could wave her flipper and shake her head at the correct time to answer questions, she splashed the water soaking the crowd, and beached herself onto the platform. Amazing observation of human training!  However, the big THAT DIDN’T MATTER, but if you took away all the training, when the massive creature soared into the air, and I observed her black sleek, beautiful body, God said to me, “I made that.”

The music was classical and intense, but to me it was praise and worship. MY GOD MADE THAT!  The announcer never turned to the crowd and said, “I would like to thank Jesus Christ. This show would not be possible without him. Let’s give him a round of applause for creating the orca!”

BUT HE DID!  And as I observe magnificent animals and as I live and love this creation and as I applaud, may I always remember this is my Father’s world and the beauty of creation is just the beginning of his handiwork….get ready for the real show!  

This world is amazing and will pack crowds in to see the show, but it has its flaws. The mass is still entering the doors, the intro music is playing. The lights dim and the curtain is cued to open. Get ready!  The real show is about to begin!

The Drum Roll

The prince swings his sword to slay the dragon, the runner pulls ahead, the mother pushes and the baby crowns, he is on his knee and takes her hand. 

We love a story!

WHY?!!!

We live in the drum roll. Jesus has created mankind and this world we live in. There is the problem of sin. We screwed up really bad. God made a plan of forgiveness and paid the price. 

And we live in the drum roll. My eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord. His lips are on the trumpet. Satan feels his pending doom and sweeps the Earth with a final blow. 

The drum beat is low but constant, the sound rises and rises. The drummer is beating the great crescendo. We feel it in our hearts!  

Jesus is coming in the clouds!  Truth will be known. Questions will be answered. And God Almighty will fling the insult of Satan and his army into eternity where they can no longer lie to God’s children. The great arm will hammer once more upon the drum and we will applaud. Every knee will bow and every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord. And the best ending ever will be happily ever after that will last for all of eternity. 

Here Comes the Life

There was nothing except excitement and love swelling within me that could not be contained. The church was huge, ornate, and movie worthy gorgeous. My church from birth hid our lack of money and lack of decorating in its every day stunning beauty. Something borrowed was my white designer wedding dress. One of my very best friends was married two months before me and graciously offered for me to wear the dress I could not afford. But from the outside, I was the bride beaming for my groom. 

The opening of the huge sanctuary doors demanded the audience to their feet. The wedding march boomed from the organ pipes. 

One step. I was twenty one years young and ready to wear a bikini on our Bahamas honeymoon. 

Slow step.  My groom was rushing me to the ER, praying over my convulsing body. 

The bride stepped closer to my groom. And there was a toddler running around my feet. I am distracted and tired but I smile up at her Daddy. 

Slowly, my white heel takes another step toward my love. I am yelling and frustrated and angry. He knows my sin and I know his. But I chose him now and he takes all of me. 

My white dress follows behind. The crowd stares and admires. My body has new scars. My hair has gray streaks. Our daughter is about to take her own walk. Her Daddy has been the finest example and now he will walk her to her own groom. 

I smile as I near my groom, one intentional step down the isle. I am faded and gray now. My body wrinkled and old. But I take my husband’s hand and I know now the deep love of the wedding vows. 

My final step and I am face to face with my groom.  We smile into each other’s eyes. It goes beyond the perfection of our young bodies. It is deeper than the moment of young love and a honeymoon vacation. We vow to love when it hurts. We promise to chose each other when we don’t want to. We make a covenant to always protect and always serve. And with our wedding vows, we are now one. One life. One body. One love. 

In my life, I have walked halfway down that church isle. When I look back, I see a much different girl that started that walk. And when I look forward, a much different girl will finish it. While things have changed, for better and for worse. With each step I take, I love my groom even more. When those doors first boomed open, I thought I could never love more than this. However, lessons have been learned and promises have been lived and love is so much more than a wedding. Love is life. 

Each day, I take a slow step forward and each step our lives change. But each step I take toward my groom and my promise of only him. And I now believe this life is our wedding ceremony. Our home is our covenant. We are standing and proclaiming our vows to the world.  Our love is rings exchanged. 

But when we turn and face the crowd and when the pastor announceds Mr. and Mrs., we will run down that isle and the real honeymoon will be in heaven. 

Because that is what God calls us to. To help each other on that way. In sickness and in health, for better, and for worse, we present the lives we led and the one that we became together. Encourage. Strengthen. Forgive. Serve. And most importantly, love. 

And one day, I will turn to the perfect bride groom and the life before us will be perfect eternity. I will be stunningly gorgeous forever. All my vows will be of tears wiped away and life beyond comprehension. My last tear of joyous disbelief will be lovingly wiped away, as my perfect groom admires me, and before all the hosts of heaven, I will proudly proclaim, “I do.”

Summer Promises

The gray has turned green and yellow.  The sun is so hot, I pulled out the sprinkler to water my newly planted flowers. Madison put on her bathing suit and ran over the grass with the water falling down on her. I love summer nature!

Being outside makes our bellies hungry and we slice open a fresh watermelon. Fire up the grill, pop open a drink, and slice up some summer veggies. My girl and I will hold a contest to see who is the fastest at shucking corn and we will have to shoo away Tucker (our doggie) who would like to participate and snatch an ear of corn. I love summer food!

Two more days of school!  Two more days of waking up at 6:15.  I will set the alarm for an hour later, or maybe a little more. I will roll out of bed and grab a throw and a fresh cup of coffee and sit and write. My sleepyhead will join me just a little later and we will sit and cuddle. When we chat a bit and begin to wake up and plan our day, we will make some pancakes. I will add bananas to mine.  She will take her’s plain.  I love summer mornings!

Pretty soon I will write about late nights watching fireworks, summer weddings and my crazy dance moves, the perfection of a fire pit and a backyard full of cousins, and Madison swimming with dolphins!  The dates are set, family awaits our travel, it’s going to be a celebration to write about!  I love summer promises!

The Promises of Nature

I have a god, the God, that I trust and know and believe. But there is a god whispered in my ear, that I am told to believe. Who is this god?  It is ME. 

Builders, great architects of their time, the Egyptians built the temples that are still marveled today. The great wonders of the world. But where are these builders?  Where are they?  Buried within.  All the attempts to preserve their bodies and where are they to be found?  Buried in the sand. 

He stood and proclaimed, “God is dead!”  The world was awakened. Sexual revival, nonconformity, and selfishness praised. With pride and happiness they revolted. With openness and desires they grabbed and pulled in others to follow.  Where are these revivalists?  Where are these that insisted on the death of God?  They have aged, they have fallen. You find them in the grave.

People accomplish great things. They help and build and dance. Legs run faster than ever before. Great minds compose and soothe. Marriage and reproduction. Oil struck, land discovered, and new steel construction. Applause is given and the night is over. As the good and the bad all pass away. Nature promises one more day. 

The answer is not me. The answer is not you. The world that God created reminds us of that day after day. With this world we see and live and breathe, we are left with two options:  There is nothing and we die and are no more. OR There is everything, there is God, and a purpose to live for. 

What the World Needs Now

Love sweet love, where are you love? Our culture is one chubby toddler standing in their crib crying out to Mommy. We demand one thing: LOVE.

But we have lost our innocence. Pop culture has become one raging hormone. Two fifteen year old kids sneaking out of the house together. They met in Math class. In an abandoned parking lot, he holds her hand for the first time, kisses her strawberry lipstick, and he can’t stop. She doesn’t want to, but this is the first time anyone has ever wanted her. Is this love? She wonders. She gives and gives. She gives it all. It doesn’t take long to realize she is pregnant. He is only fifteen. He is not ready to be a father. And the pop culture that lured us in, abandons us. What do we do now?

MTV, Victoria’s Secret, pop music, the majority of anything on the screen, it is the fifteen year old boy luring us into the parking lot. And we just want to be loved.

How dare I tell anyone premarital sex is wrong! How dare I set standards! How dare I even use the words right and wrong! Who am I to judge the contents of music and TV?

Yeah, you are right. I have a new term to describe myself, raging sinner. It is true. The only good news in my phrase is that I know it. I know I have messed up and I know I continue to struggle and I know the one who forgives and washes me clean and I know the one who is, who he himself is love.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Corinthians 13, 4-7

Look at the stark contrast! This is the love the world needs!

Voices Sing Out in Unison. I Walk Down to the River.

(sung low and quiet, sitting on the floor)  Slave in bondage, chains around my heart. Gathered around, humanity cries out in unison.  Laboring, toiling for the idols of our hearts.  Step, Step, march in rhythm.  It is dark and cold, we are hungry and tired.  Slap goes the whip.  Return to our work.  Do not step out of line.  Through the night we toil, through the night we ache, serving those idols that control us.  Slaves in bondage, chains around our hearts.

(sung low and slightly louder, squatting looking out)  But something peaks over the horizon.  A new sun sings of a new day.  We raise our heads.  Slaves in the office, slaves in the fields, slaves in the beauty shop, slaves to the idols of this modern world.  The sun breaks through our windows, hope finds its way.  It calls with a new song, offering a new day.

(sung low and slightly louder, line of people.  arms connected at the elbows)  So, down to the river I’ll go.  Wash me in the muddy water, it will make me clean.  We all walk down together, we hum along the way, low but loud with determination of a destination, shedding the chains of bondage.  Hands open and by our sides.  Walking, walking, down to the river.  Let that cold water splash over me.  I give up this heavy heart.  I release a life of no peace.  I want no more of this suffering.  In unison, arms to our sides, a hum loud and deafening, but no lips moving.  Our hearts cry out, our hearts battle for passage.

(sung low and loud, arms up to the sky)  That peaceful water splashes like a waterfall.  I let the cold water cover me.  I step out hands lifted up.  No more world!  No more Satan.  I am alone, it is my personal heart.  And yet, I see I am surrounded.  We walk out of the water, an army marching on.  We’ve been down to the river, we’ve been washed clean in his mercy.  No more chains.  Of this world, I’ve been set free.  Step, step, march in rhythm.  It is bright and warm, we are loved and we are free.  Hands high, we’ve been to the river.  No more slaves, HE HAS THE VICTORY!

 

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