Messing up is the name of my game. Idealist at heart, I see my mistakes as I am making them and then I have a hard time letting them go. I say “no” to visiting with a friend when I should say “yes,” I am not patient with my daughter when I am the one running late, I am selfish instead of serving my husband. Again and again, I chose me instead of looking around and being so overwhelmed with thanksgiving with having every single desire that I have ever wished upon met in my here and now. I am living the dream. As a little girl, when I sat with my chin resting on my palm, staring out the window and thinking what I wanted in my wildest dreams, it is this! It is my husband and my daughter and this life that I live. I am ashamed that so many days, I stress about cleaning my home instead of playing “Littlest PetShop” with Madison, I am ashamed that I snap at my husband. But not today.
Today, I look at them and I will spend my whole entire day thanking God for them! Today, I will squeeze Madison tight and kiss her cheek over and over until she wiggles free to go play with her cousins. Today, I will just sit on the couch with James’s arm around me. Today, I am immensely thankful for my almost 8,000 new friends that I am sharing life with through Beautiful Life with Cancer. Today, I am thankful for my in-laws that I miss that I can’t be with today. Today I will join hands with my humongous extended family as we pray and thank our Savior for living a life of suffering and dying a tortured death so that I can live my life of blessing and partake in the hope and joy of a future in heaven, today I will feast and I will be thankful. Today, I give thanks.