Self Condemnation

There are things that I have regretted in my life, things I still regret.  If I could go back and change something, would I?  YES, I would change a lot.  I have had that immense, deep hurt in my heart for things that I have done or not done that I should have.  But, I have never killed anyone.

The Apostle Paul was a dedicated persecutor of Christians.  He hated them to the point of murder.  He was young and watched when Stephen was stoned to death for following Jesus.  You can call me a wimp, but I hide my eyes during violence in movies, I can not fathom what it does to someone to watch someone else being stoned to death.  It is evil.  That is all I can say.  Paul continued his education as a Pharisee and grows to despise followers of Christ.  He does all he can to have them put to death in an attempt to eliminate them all.  He hates them so much that he travels to seek out christians to kill them.  And then.  He changes.  He becomes a follower of Jesus himself.

Endless, immeasurable regret.  The faces of those that he murdered playing over and over in his head.  The anguish that Paul must have lived with.  Or did he?

“There is no condemnation for those that are in Christ Jesus.”  Those are the words of Paul.

Do you have regret in your life?  Have you murdered masses of people?  Paul did.  And he learned the meaning of true forgiveness.

32 thoughts on “Self Condemnation

  1. I too walked many years with regret for my past until one day I was woke from my sleep and although I have done things in my past that were not good I see we all walk or have walked in the dark, but since I woke I have seen with new eyes a need for that walk and the choice to no longer walk there, sudden change can happen when least expected, like when our Father comes home. This when we begin accept His presence in our life we begin to heal and see the need of the past and how it makes us who we are today. It is very hard accepting what others do not see as they are blind to Love of God our Father.
    Thank you for your post and may you understand my comment.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Wow, amazing, thank you for sharing. Husband and I were just talking about this! I get so “distrurbed” seeing violence, and it sickens me. He brought up how David killed many people, but was still a man after Gods own heart. I wish every convict/murderer could read this and have comfort in their soul!

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  3. One of the hardest things to do is forgive yourself when you’ve done something wrong, especially if it hurt someone. I just have to remind myself that God does forgive us. Even if I can’t forgive myself, I am forgiven.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Absolutely, I have done things that I wish I could change. But isn’t that what makes you the way you are today. I wrote about how your experiences makes up who you are I’ll link it at the end.Lets talk about Paul, he experienced a great deal. But the important thing is you learn from it and ask for forgiveness. There’s a great difference in not repeating the same mistakes over and over. I think that separates “Im only human I make mistakes” to an evil person. heres the link

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  5. Loved this post! I love when people explain stories from the bible because I feel people such as yourself have a way of explaining it well to a point where it makes sense. Most people won’t pick up a bible until they hear someone talking about the way things are explained in it. Some people have to be lead so this was a great read. I’ll definitely remember the story of Paul now. Thank you.


  6. Very nice piece, Caroline….thanks!

    Here is quote from Oswald Chambers’ “My Utmost For His Highest”:

    ““Let the past sleep, but let it sleep on the bosom of Christ, and go out into the irresistible future with Him. Never let the sense of failure corrupt your new action.”

    Grace and peace to you.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Wow! Caroline, thank you! I am sure there are many people who need to hear this and take comfort in your words. Myself included. Any sensitive, God loving Christian deals with the accuser a lot. It is so great that we have that verse in Romans. God bless you, sister.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Reblogged this on sistersreachout and commented:
    Hello friends. I have another sister I want to introduce you to. Her name is Caroline and she has quite a story. This particular blog will be a comfort for most of us, I believe. I hope you will check out her “About Me” page and see what a kind soul she is. Bless you. Debbie


  9. I certainly have regrets in my life, some very serious, but thankfully none on that scale. I really don’t know if I could handle that. Absolutely not without the forgiveness that only the Spirit could bring. On the lighter side, I earned a milder regret today, but still a regret, I was out when the UPS man came to deliver your book and I missed him. Now I have to wait until he tries again. I’ll have it soon though. God bless.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. You ask an interesting & hard question. There are plenty of things that I’ve said and done that I can say I shouldn’t have said or done. On the other hand, when I’ve been asked if I could change anything in my life, what would it be – I honestly answer, “nothing. Because if I changed anything, I wouldn’t be where I am now.” God can and does turn all our bad things to good. We can, as you are going, use those things to help and comfort when we combine them with God’s love.

    Another good post. Thank you!


    • you are absolutely right!!! may not have been my plan (so much of my life absolutely was not!) but i have seen God do so much good with so many things that i would not have chosen. so hard for me to remind myself in the moment, but even when i mess up, what matters is what i do now.


  11. I saw your follow on my blog (many thanks by the way – it encourages me to write more) so I thought I would check out your blog. I look forward to reading more of it, but this post resonated with me.
    I have recently been thinking about Paul and just how he exemplifies the Christian message. Only Christ could make a man convert to the group he committed his life to persecuting. I never thought about the regret that Paul must have experienced post conversion (and regretted he would have). I’m sure only through Christ could Paul live with the regret of his past actions.
    God bless.

    Liked by 1 person

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