This is OUR FAULT, Not Theirs

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This article is written to Conservative Christians.  It is written for people that oppose homosexual marriage. All others, come back tomorrow, or read on if you wish, but I am addressing those that are in opposition to the Supreme Court’s decision to make gay marriage the law of the land. If you stop here, I hope to see you tomorrow and I love you.

To: Caroline and Conservative Christians,

If you have a problem with the Supreme Court’s decision to applaud gay marriage, if you disagree with gay flags bombarding Facebook and all other social media, if you see gay marches and shake your head, THIS IS YOUR FAULT!

Do not quote Bible verses, do not shout at them that they are sinning, do not cry that it is their fault that our morals are headed for destruction, do not yell that every TV show has its symbolic gay couple. This is our world! This is our Ninevah, our platform for the Gospel, our people in need.  These people do not believe the Bible, ofcourse they do not follow it!

It is US to hold accountable!  It is the fault of the church for not leading the world in love. Why don’t these people look at us and say that they can not disagree with how we give to the poor and open our homes to prostitutes and widows and orphans and the rejected of society?  Why are we flipping on sitcoms and valuing entertainment above morals?  Why are our children undisciplined, untrained, and just as bratty as everyone else’s?  Why are our marriages crumbling and falling apart?  Why don’t these people look at us and see something different?  Why don’t they say that our marriages last and we work hard and we give and we love?  Why don’t they want to be like us?  Because we are just like them!  Why don’t they know us by our love?

No!  They know us for being hypocritical, and we are!  They know us for judging, instead of leaving that to Jesus. They know us for buying a house and closing our doors and hiding in groups of those like us and yelling and hating anyone that is not like us.

But “they” are wrong?  But you are not afraid to speak the truth?  But what do I expect christians to do?  I expect them to be like Christ.

What did Jesus do?  He lived and breathed and ate and hung out with the sinners. When he said it, when he condemned, it was to the people of the church. Ouch!  He loved. That is what he did!

He called Christians to be different. Are we?  Do we believe that marriage should be one man and one woman?  Then live it!  How is your marriage?  Is it a model for the world?  Is it something that others want?

Not me?  Not us?  Not my church?  Look at what these Christians did?  GREAT!  Prove me wrong!  Yes, I know the world hates Christians and I know the Truth will be despised.  But guess what friends?  That is not what is happening here.  Here we have failed.  Here we have been hypocritical, we have been lazy, we have been hateful, we have NOT been a light, we have NOT been love.

So, what do we do?  And that is the beauty of the gospel:  GRACE!  We start now, new and forgiven and we LOVE.  We love these people that Jesus loved.  We love the world that God called us to go into and we spread his Good News.  We love the people Jesus died for and we change what we have been and we change who we are.  And how do we do that?  Ahh, beautiful, perfect, holy, and righteous Jesus, come now and LOVE through me!  Make me your hands and feet and reach this world in need!

The answer is the cross.


79 thoughts on “This is OUR FAULT, Not Theirs

  1. I have thought the problem with the church universal is that people know what it’s against verses what it’s for. There is the problem a lack of grace and love among it’s believers. There is also a problem with some seeing people as sinful before getting to know them. I know many gay and lesbians who are some of the best people of faith who have a calling on their lives too. There is also the problem with many in the church thinking they are above sin and can cast judgement on the lives of others and they see no speck in their eyes. I personally think the church needs to figure out inclusion because the LGBTQ community isn’t going away and the church could be stronger with some diversity. Jesus prime directive was to love one another as I loved you.

    Liked by 4 people

    • I do not agree with homosexual marriage but i do agree with your comments here about christians lacking love and about many homosexuals being very kind people, that many could learn from, but i believe that, for the most part, christians are shaking their finger at the world while we are participating. and that the reason we have gotten to “this point” is the fault of the church refusing to love a hurtful world.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Absolutely! That is the curse of being a writer 😳 ouch! I believe I need to live these words I write! Thank you Jesus for grace! And that is the very reason I am a Christian! I am the first to admit that I mess up and I need Jesus!


  2. Great post I don’t agree with all of it. Many Christians do live the life they promote. The issue isn’t whether Gay marriage is something to see as success or failure but as you say what are we doing to set the lead?

    Many Christians use extreme language when speaking of the alternative life style choices that homosexuals make but remember it is their choice.

    God wasn’t to blame for Satan or Adam and Eve they made their choice and the consequence became inevitable.

    So hate the sin not the sinner. Jesus never said I heal you go away and keep on sinning, rather sin no more. So we have to evangelize.

    Lot lived in Sodom and remained righteous, we live in modern Sodom so let us follow Peters counsel and remain without blemish.

    Our personal views don’t count the bible holds the standard, so let the bible speak, if civil law chooses to go its own way we echo the words that we obey God as ruler.

    No loss as the whole world is in the power of the wicked one, 1 John 5: 19; Satan blinds the minds of none believers 1 Corinthians 4: 4 so don’t loose heart but see that the end is now very close and this issue itself may be seen as an early salvo in the final destruction of this evil system as it was for Sodom and Gomorrah.

    Again love the post and some strong points well made.

    Liked by 2 people

    • @trotter387 You took my thoughts and spilled them out right there online. Thank you. It is true, we must lead the way, and we, as the Body of Christ, have, too often, remained silent and in the shadows on the hard questions, on the real votes. Our prayer lives have become anemic, and our lifestyles have looked much like the world’s. We have, too often, taken the easy road to gain more popularity or to just simply have peace, when He calls us to be a separate people for a reason. It is time for the Church to speak Truth, and to speak it in love, as Christ did. One thing I see missing from so many commentaries of this subject is this love is not always a “sweet, peace-loving, gentle” love. Sometimes, it’s the love that tells the adulterous woman, directly, to “go and sin no more.” It’s the love that tells the Pharisees they are “sons of snakes” and why and offers them a better way. It’s the love that tells the woman at the well “you answer well” for she’s had 5 husbands and the man she’s ‘shacked up with’ now isn’t her husband. It’s also the love that runs the money makers out of the temple, because they’ve turned His “Father’s House into a den of thieves.” Confrontation is actually the highest form of love. If you don’t believe me, just think of your baby girl or boy, at the age of 5, playing in the middle of the train tracks, and you see a train track barreling around the bend. Your reaction would not be to go give her/him a hug, and smile, and walk along the tracks with them! No. You would start shouting from wherever you are to tell them they are in danger! If you reached them before they moved, you would grab hold of them and jump off the tracks to save their life!! Sometimes, confrontation must come to save a life!! Christians haven’t always done it right, and we definitely need to do it better; however, we, also, must not cave to the command of the world saying that the only way we show love to the homosexuals is by accepting them as they are and all that they do and the only way we can be “Christian” is by being kind and sweet as we show our compassion for the sinner. We must, first and foremost, PRAY; then, we must be guided by the Word, by the Spirit, and by spiritual leaders who can help us in this journey, to know how to handle every situation and encounter. 2 Chronicles 7:14.

      Liked by 3 people

    • To be fair, Lot was not above reproach. He greedily took the best land when offered the choice by his uncle Abram. Also, when the visitors came to Lot to rescue him and his family from Sodom, the men of the town demanded that Lot turn the visitors over so the would be subject to gang rape. What did Lot do? He offered his daughters who in turn got him drunk and seduced him. Talk about your family values. So Lot is actually a good example of a modern Christian who allows himself to be infected by his environment and allowing his daughters to be tainted as well.


      • Yes, Lot had an extremely messed up life story. I don’t think Lot is the best example of someone that we want to imitate. But I do love how the Bible is full of messed up people that God uses. That is the message of the Bible: Grace.

        But that is not to say that we sin so grace will abound more…that’s another topic

        Liked by 1 person

      • The bible says Lot condemned Sodom by his righteousness not his perfection

        He was invited to take the land it was not greed but a lack of some other quality let’s not put our values on Lot but look at how the Bible speaks about him.

        Our personal record is made with God and he says who is righteous not us.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I fear the church has isolated itself from the masses in hopes of not becoming infected with sin. How silly! We all come to church to ask for forgiveness. We’re all sinners. We need to get out of our caccoons and spread our butterfly wings. The world doesn’t know they need to be saved. Society has become numbed over the years. We as Christians have a lot of work to do and a lot of walls to break down, starting with our own.

    Liked by 6 people

  4. I don’t agree with your views about homosexuality and marriage equality, however that is okay. We don’t have to all believe the same thing (I think life would get pretty boring if we all did). I read your post, though, because I wanted to see what you had to say — I have no tolerance for the spouting of hate and if your post was going to do such things I would have stopped following your blog, no matter what other great things I have read.
    I was very pleasantly surprised and I want say Thank You for calling the fellow Christians who hold beliefs like you do to really look at Jesus’ examples, to remember Jesus stood with the sinners and social outcasts, that he preached powerful messages of love. How Christians understand this message varies of course (the vast majority of the people I am celebrating the SCOTUS decision with are Christian, a great many of them ministers or in the process of becoming ministers), but I truly believe that if they are holding the message of love and modeling their lives after Christ’s ministry then they are living a Christian life, with all the diversity of belief that brings. And the only way to function in the world, to truly function and have a safe and caring world, is if we cling to the idea of love. Love, and Grace, with those we can live with different understandings but still come together to care for those in need and to care for our world.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Well, my dear friend, yours is the only thing I have even bothered reading through and commenting on. I have been in frustrated prayer over the stuff I have seen posted on fb by the Christian community. So thank you, precious one. Well said and I am praying for you and your family. Hugs to you.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I agree with this article in that God calls the church to live in purity as well as in love. Perhaps if we walked closer and in full obedience to God, then the world would be convicted of their sins and see that the world holds nothing for them. We, as a church, have become a little “bless me” club and we don’t seem to have the healthy fear of God that we need in order to be different than the world. However, there is never an excuse for sin and the church IS diverse. Welcoming people of all kinds into the church is a must, but we must also be careful to never condone any sin in OUR lives nor theirs. That’s my “two cents” on this matter. Bless you, sister. 🙂

    Liked by 4 people

  7. You are absolutely correct, Caroline! Thanks for boldly speaking up! I hope we ALL heard your words in our hearts as well as our minds and take a step back to evaluate our own lives, and then go to the cross to make that change! Love to you today ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Reblogged this on Joycy Ann Unplugged and commented:
    The decision has been made, the law has been set into motion…and the world is watching – now how will you choose to respond?

    To all those who are upset with this week’s Supreme Court ruling on Same Sex marriage, I offer you this post from a fellow blogger. Please feel free to share your voice and comment below.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. It begins in each heart… Each of us responsible for examining ourselves and permitting the Holy Spirit permission for disclose what is not pleasing. I just think we should not lump all Christians together as we do not know the contents of each persons heart. We will see by their actions. Be in the world but not of the world.

    Liked by 1 person

    • yes. i completely agree. and i know that i am doing a “lump.” ….i am speaking in general and oh how i would love to be proved wrong and how i pray that a huge revival sweeps over our land and that those that area already christians will be more intentional and more faithful in their beliefs. …i agree with you mother hen!

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Beautifully said, dear sister, and said in the Spirit of Grace and Truth! This was in my heart and meditation this morning and last night. I found myself asking how can I be more like Him to show and not to tell. As a writer this is a challenge, to show and not tell, and the same holds true for those in the household of Faith. Thank you for being bold enough to speak and may this be a wake up call to the Body of Christ for true change to truly walk like Him, live like Him, and love like Him!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I can hardly resist another C S Lewis quote here, on Christians (and moralising folk in general) who have a special animus against homosexuality…

    “There is much hypocrisy on this theme. People commonly talk as if every other evil were more tolerable than this. But why? Because those of us who do not share the vice feel for it a certain nausea, as we do, say, for necrophily? I think that of very little relevance to moral judgment. […] Is it then on Christian grounds? But how many of those who fulminate on the matter are in fact Christians? And what Christian, in a society as worldly and cruel as that of [English public school], would pick out the carnal sins for special reprobation? Cruelty is surely more evil than lust and the World at least as dangerous as the Flesh. The real reason for all the pother is, in my opinion, neither Christian nor ethical. We attack this vice not because it is the worst but because it is, by adult standards, the most disreputable and unmentionable, and happens also to be a crime in English law [pre-1967]. The world may lead you only to Hell; but sodomy may lead you to jail and create a scandal, and lose you your job. The World, to do it justice, seldom does that.” (From “Surprised by Joy”)

    Liked by 3 people

      • You’ll enjoy that book. 🙂 Very inspiring, and very digestible and straightforward, like most of Lewis. I tend to prefer his essays to his fiction, though I will say Perelandra has one of scariest and probably most accurate depictions of the Enemy in all literature… Whilst I think it is safe to say he would not have been a supporter of gay marriage no more than most Christians of his time, good and bad, he would clearly have sympathised with your frustration over the idea of a lot of very worldly, cynical, lip-service Christians patting themselves on the back for the “virtue” of not having been born gay (never mind the idea that such an attitude could ever hope to spread the Word).

        Liked by 1 person

  12. Quite true. This is a huge part of the book that we just published. We left the church 8 years ago and haven’t looked back since, but still hold a very firm and steady relationship with the Lord. I am longing to get this book into the hands of pastors so that churches get a REAL clue as to what the problem is.

    Liked by 2 people

  13. Amen, Caroline. Let’s stop pointing the finger at the world and show them what love looks like. Brave, powerful words. The trouble is, there are no programmes for doing this. The change you prescribe only happens by indivudual Christians following the prompting of the Holy Spirit, having some awkward conversations and getting out of our ghettoes. By remembering that knowing God doesn’t make us better than those who don’t, but should make us humble enough to share Him. It’s not easy but it’s so much better than religion….

    Liked by 2 people

  14. Hey Caroline. Excellent, sensitive yet thought-provoking. Thank you. We’ve had “Gay Marriage” in the UK for a while now. So, I feel for you guys. Remember what it was like before it was passed by parliament. Old Muddy Boots and his pals stirring it up – left right and centre. But what people didn’t realise. I mean the Christians in their churches was that – people like me with same-sex-attraction – were also being battered. I mean -Satan had a heyday. Temptations. Like you wouldn’t believe. But everyone was busy praying against the Act. So, if you guys get a minute. Stop and pray for your brothers and sisters who love Jesus and want to follow the Truth – but, through no fault of their own -are attracted to their same sex. They won’t necessarily stand up and say who they are. We don’t. Not in church. But, I’m guessing they need your prayers right now. Thank you. Be blessed – Remain in the Truth – Reuben

    Liked by 1 person

      • Hey Caroline. I love your get up and go attitude!! I share from the heart cos that is the only real connection. I am actually a very private person but my heavenly Father gave me a second chance last year and now I have to take it. Run with it! Looking forward to receiving more from your heart, Caroline. Blessings on you and your day! Reuben

        Liked by 1 person

        • Yes! The heart is the only real connection! I have been a writer my entire life but it was not until August 2015 that I was able to open up and share my story. I often think, “what took me so long?!”

          Liked by 1 person

          • Yeah.Totally understand Caroline. I had a ‘story’ in me for years but my creative flow was blocked. Until last year when I came back to my heavenly Father. At the same time I had a total mental, emotional and physical breakdown and was off work for three months. Such release Caroline. To be able to cry! I feel human again! Sharing our story is part of who we are. Took me all this time to understand it’s nothing to be ashamed of. The Lord bless you! Reuben

            Liked by 1 person

  15. Thank you for your compassionate response to a delicate situation. You are so right, the Church needs to be different if the world is going to take notice and the one thing they won’t be able to argue with is love. My pastor preached just about the same thing Sunday morning, don’t argue with world about sin because it is blind. Instead, focus on other believers and challenge them if they are living as right as they are expecting the world to behave.

    Liked by 2 people

      • I do! He ALSO admitted to being in a same sex relationship by the time he was thirteen, but that the Lord had delivered him since then and “I only want to be with my wife. Full disclosure here, my late husband, who died of AIDS in 1995, struggled with bi-sexuality for many years of his adult life. He never defended his behavior, but was very compassionate towards those still in the lifestyle. Thanks be to God, I’ve always been HIV negative and I try to offer the voice of reason and compassion. So I’m glad to hear people like you speak out. Thank you and God bless!


  16. I don’t think we, as believers, can take the blame for all that is wrong in the world. I don’t think it’s our “fault”, but I do agree with the majority of what you have said here in this article. I have been thinking deeply about this and trying to find a response in myself for these events.

    I replied to another thought provoking article on this topic today like this:

    “I find myself as pulled as ever about this topic. I can celebrate equality in rights for all people, but I cannot celebrate homosexuality. I find myself wondering if it is possible to separate the two.

    I have gay friends and relatives I love, but I don’t celebrate their choice of lifestyle. I agree there is much unnecessary vitriol coming from those who should know better, but must we go to the other extreme?

    Thank you for an interesting and balanced article. Food for thought. ”

    I say the same to you. Thanks for the article and the food for thought 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • I agree with your quote. It comes down to the fact that we all get out morals from somewhere. I get mine from the Bible. I look at this world through a Biblical perspective and filter all my choices and decisions through it.


  17. Great post Caroline !! As Christians, we are to hate the sin, but love the sinner… Too often we lose focus on living a Christ centered life, when we allow our own feelings to get in the way of what Jesus would do or say… (Proverbs 3:5-6)

    It took me 7+ years to finally put on all of God’s spiritual armor, and to (for the most part) submit to God (James 4:7-8), through remaining filled with the supernatural power of the Holy Spirit…

    It all boils down to putting on ALL of God’s spiritual armor (Ephesians 6:10-20), through spending time every day in the Word… Jesus used the Word to combat Satan, and we are to do the same, if we want to be true disciples of Christ…John 8:31-32…

    I believe it is Christ’s agape love in us…that perfect love that casts out fear, that the apostle John pens, in…1 John 4:18…that will cast out our fears, our doubts, and our anxiety that we will face each and every day of our lives, in our own flesh…

    1 John 1:4:18… There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love. (NKJV)

    I am going to re-post this in my blog, if that’s OK ??

    Blessings in Christ, bruce

    Liked by 1 person

  18. This post is full of love and wisdom, thank you for your perspective. My own post today was on the fact that I am broken, too, and as much in need of grace as anyone else. I think that is what is often missing when Christians react with “self-righteous indignation” to the sin they see around them in the world. We forget that we, too, desperately need God’s grace.

    I agree with you that we Christians bear a lot of responsibility here. If the world around us is dark, it is because we who know the Light of the World have covered Him with our own faults rather than letting His truth shine through our own lives.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. A billion likes! Thank you for this Caroline. This is beautifully written and to the point. I have a blog which has been sat in my Notes for months as I didn’t know the right time to post it. This article of yours compliments it wonderfully so I will add a link to yours, if you’re okay with that. Seems like now is the time. Many blessings to you xx

    Liked by 1 person

  20. I’ve been meaning to write a post about this on my blog,, but a copied FB post I posted the other day will have to do:

    The openly gay man, Rob, who called into the Schnitt show (sp) hit the nail on the head: Marriage is not a govt matter. It has evolved into one mainly for taxation purposes. Marriage is truly a religious activity that should be between you, your partner, church, and your God (bc it’s most every religion – not just Christianity; and yes, there are Christian churches that cater to gay audiences). Civil unions were not enough bc then ppl say, “but if civil unions are ok, why aren’t marriages? That’s not true equality.” Because they do not understand what marriage really is. If they did, and if most ppl did, it would be recognized as a 1st amendment issue. Not 10th. I am not against gay couples. Not my cup of tea but I do, however, believe in individual rights. Meaning if someone wants to pursue that, go for it, so long as it is not infringing on others’ personal freedoms (I.e. 1st amendment). The issue needs to be brought back home: Marraige is religious, whether Muslim, Christian, Jewish, whatever. It should never be a govt issue in the first place, and some judge coming in to override States’ decisions is a much bigger problem. P.s. If so many ppl are anti-God, why even care about having a marriage? Many states offered the same benefits under civil unions. But even for heterosexuals, why do I need the govts permission to get married? That’s the real issue.


    • This speaks to me more than any other response I have heard. Why should the government tell me what I can and can not do as long as I am not harming others? The irony here is that the very large majority of those that believe in gay marriage rights are democrats. By definition, the Democratic Party believes in a large national government with a lot of power. By definition, the Republican Party believes in states’ rights and a small national government.

      Liked by 1 person

  21. I agree that the church as a whole can be considered hypocritical when discussing this particular sin. All sin is equal in God’s eyes, and when repentance is involved He, like the prodigal father, will receive the lost soul with open arms. The sin is no different than any other ,but those sinners who Jesus hung out with were told to go and sin no more after being forgiven. The key for all of us as sinners is to go to the Father with true repentance DAILY, because without it, sin will haunt us all until we die.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I absolutely agree with you! We all sin and the sin that pushes us away from Jesus the most is being self righteous. But that is no ticket to go and sin. That is missing the whole point. We are free from sin. We are forgiven and washed clean in Jesus. Now go and sin no more, be free from sin, change, love, serve, be a light! …I always love your comments. They cause me to think. You are very wise

      Liked by 1 person

      • Yes being unrighteous in God’s eyes because we sin as Christians, has been paid for by the shed blood of Jesus Christ… But our unrighteousness does separate us from sweet fellowship of walking in the Spirit (Galatians 5:16), as Spirit filled Christians…(Ephesians 5:18-20)

        Hence the need to seek forgiveness and repent of our sins, by praying something like the apostle John wrote, in…1 John 1:9… If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (NKJV)

        Blessings in Christ, bruce

        Liked by 1 person

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