Mother’s Day is beginning to decorate my home with homemade gifts stacked in a chair and fresh flowers from my husband. It weighs heavily on my heart to be celebrated. Should I be? Should my motherhood be celebrated?
With the greatest of intentions, I have seen articles running around Facebook on the topic that are as empty, shallow, and impersonal as a Halmark card. One article stated for the low feeling mother, You are a great Mom because: and it stated things like: You got out of bed this morning and you are trying. On such, I hold back from adding to the comments, “Sometimes the first step to good change is realizing that you suck as a mom.”
It is no secret that there are some really awful moms out there. And hey, I do NOT want to be one of them.
Allow me to tell you a little story:
Third day of school, my newly third grader climbs into the back of my car on the third day of after school car line. I have learned not to ask her about her day, but give her a little time and then she will begin to spill. After a few minutes of silence, she began to speak in complete seriousness, “Mom, Mr. Parker said we are not going to have any more fun in school. It is all hard work from here on out.” And then a sly smile began to creep upon her face, “…But guess what! I still had fun today.”
And that, I believe, pretty much sums up being a Mom. If you are getting into this whole business for fun and happy days, you are in for a rude awakening. To sum up motherhood by saying it is hard work is an understatement!
It is more like always being in labor! The day I birthed my little miracle was the most painful and the most wonderful day of my life! But it wasn’t because I was trying to have fun. I was trying to survive! And then all of the sudden, I was so incredibly madly in love with someone that I was meeting for the very first time that had brought me more physical pain than anyone else I had ever known. That is what motherhood is like.
This being a Mom thing is hard work! It can’t be explained! But I think we should stop trying to enjoy it so much! I think we should stop trying to make everything so pretty, stop bribing our children, stop handing out so much candy, stop trying to have it all together, and be ok with our kids crying and embarrassing the shit out of us!
Hey, I do not like to discipline. I would much rather make her bed than take longer to teach her how. I think our kids need to learn how to behave at a restaurant rather than watch the iPad. I think we need to be on our knees begging God for our children to love the Lord with all their heart and mind and soul because we care more about that than what other people think about us. I think as a Mom I should not be able to spend a day at the spa or get the house I want because I am doing without (whatever that thing is for you) so that my child can learn a new skill I never knew or go to the school that is the best for her or whatever. It is about sacrifice.
I want to hear the truth!
“THIS LIFE IS NOT ABOUT YOU! It never was! If you do not put Jesus before yourself, how do you ever expect to be of any worth to your child?! Be the person you want to be your child’s role model! This little life is your responsibility! It is hard work! Understatement!”
And then after an absolutely exhausting day, I want to lay down in my bed. I want a little sly smile to cross my face and I want to proclaim, “Know what? I still had fun!”
So…should we be celebrated? Should I be celebrated? For me, it is a day to hug and kiss my little baby. To thank her for all my homemade gifts. To appreciate my husband for all his plans. And to say, “THANK YOU JESUS for seeing fit to make me a Mom! I give myself to you. Please use me to direct this amazing blessing to you and to your amazing plan for her. It sure is crazy hard work! …and I am enjoying it.”